Why We Say the Wrong Thing

We say the wrong things to grieving people because we are uncomfortable with grief, because we want to fix what cannot be fixed, and because we reach for language designed to reassure rather than language designed to acknowledge. The most common grief platitudes are all ways of trying to close down the grief rather than sitting with the person in it.

What to Do Is Often More Important

Often what helps most is not words but presence and action. Show up. Bring food. Do a specific task. Send a text that says only 'thinking of you today' on a day you know will be hard. Check in weeks later when everyone else has stopped. Come to the service. These acts speak louder than anything you could say.

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What Not to Say to Someone Who Is Grieving (And What to Say Instead)

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What Not to Say to Someone Who Is Grieving (And What to Say Instead)

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